Holding Cell Song

by Chris Blenkarn

After "My eyes are fully open to my awful situation" - the patter song, from Ruddigore, by Gilbert and Sullivan

Vila:
My eyes are fully open to my tricky situation
Stuck inside a crowded holding cell awaiting embarkation
There's a lot of ugly customers I'll need to keep an eye on
How I wish that lady smuggler had designs upon my person
Perhaps if I look woebegone and say I'm scared of flying
She might take pity on me, well you can't blame me for trying
In the meantime I can nick that big guy's wristwatch while I natter
Though we're off to Cygnus Alpha so it really doesn't matter.

All:
So it really doesn't matter
So it really doesn't matter
So it really doesn't matter, matter, matter, matter, matter!

Avon:
My eyes are fully open to my parlous situation
I've examined all my options and begun evaluation
I'll work out the computations on this little bit of paper
Which I thought would come in handy in the banking credits caper
That annoying fifth grade Delta and our beautiful free trader
Are engaged in conversation with the curly-haired crusader
Well this gentleman embezzler has no time for pointless chatter
Though we're off to Cygnus Alpha so it really doesn't matter.

All:
So it really doesn't matter
So it really doesn't matter
So it really doesn't matter, matter, matter, matter, matter!

Jenna:
My eyes are fully open to my awkward situation
I will check the freighter's crew out, see who wants co-operation
If any of these half-wits thinks I'm in-flight entertainment
I will make him wish he'd died, and that's a massive understatement
Though I may make an exception for this latter-day Guevara
What a shame I've got no mirror so I can't check my mascara
And the lighting here my delicate complexion doesn't flatter
Though we're off to Cygnus Alpha so it really doesn't matter.

All:
So it really doesn't matter
So it really doesn't matter
So it really doesn't matter, matter, matter, matter, matter!

Blake:
My eyes are fully open to my ill-starred situation
Still I'm certain I'll be cleared of this absurd insinuation
Both my contacts in high places are engaged in getting evidence
While with liars, cheats and killers I have temporary residence
That man who picked my pocket seems to think that they're the nice guys
Well quite honestly, I think his sorry plight he doesn't realise
But let's look upon the bright side, his huge friend those thugs can batter
And they're off to Cygnus Alpha so it really doesn't matter.

All:
So it really doesn't matter
So it really doesn't matter
So it really doesn't matter, matter, matter, matter, matter!

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