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Too Much Love Will Kill You

By Catherine
Page 2 of 2

"I'm just the shadow of the man I used to be

And it seems like there's no way out of this for me

I used to bring you sunshine

Now all I ever do is bring you down

How would it be if you were standing in my shoes

Can't you see that it's impossible to choose."

"What happened, Blake?" Blake leaned back in his chair tiredly.

"What do you mean?" Avon's eyes narrowed and he bent over, staring directly into the bigger man's face.

"You think you behaved normally? Completely under your own control?"

"Don't be ridiculous; of course, I did. We explained to you about the signal."

"What about the pain? The images that made you cry out under hypnosis?" Blake turned away.

"I don't remember that." Please, don't let it be true. What else is lurking around in my skull? Blake closed his eyes, one hand coming up to rub at the headache that was threatening. A cooler hand touched his brow.


"Not yet." There was irritation in his voice, Blake knew it, but he couldn't hold it back. The hand withdrew and he opened his eyes but there was no discernable expression on Avon's face. "I'm sorry." Avon took a step away. "Avon?"

"They controlled you, like a puppet on a string. Admit it, believe it, and then take steps to prevent it happening again." Avon spun round and pulled him to his feet. "I will not lose you to them, Blake."

Fear made Avon angry, how could he have forgotten that? Blake returned his lover's fierce embrace. "You won't lose me."

"Won't I?" The bleakness of his voice made Blake's arms tighten. "No. Tell me exactly what happened."


"But..." Avon's lips pressed to his, silencing him quite effectively.

"I will tell you all about it later. Right now, I have something more pressing to attend to." Avon's hips thrust forward, the hardness of his groin prodding against Blake's thigh. Blake shivered and bent his head, licking delicately at the curve of Avon's ear.

"If you think it can wait." Blake grinned as he felt Avon squirm, his breath warming his partner's pale skin.

"It will but I won't." Blake almost chuckled at Avon's sudden impatience. It was rather unlike him. Except it wasn't that amusing. It was arousing and exciting. Avon pushed him back toward the wall, mouth sucking wetly at his neck. His shirt was yanked off, and his nipples licked and bitten.

"Ah!" Blake almost stumbled, trying to twist away from the intense sensations. All it served to do was increase them as Avon bit down harder, hands now snaking into Blake's pants, fingers searching. He jerked forward as a cool finger pressed into him. Avon's lips found him again, tongue stealing into him, exploring deep. He gasped and tore his head away.

Avon was breathing heavily, panting, eyes dark and fiery with need. A look down revealed the extent of his arousal, leather stretched taut across his groin. Skin damp with sweat, he was, as usual, irresistible to Blake. He knelt down, hand sliding down to Avon's waist. Trousers undone, Blake pulled them down, removing his boots as well. Avon stood before him, half-naked and totally desirable. Hands settled on his shoulders, rubbing against the smooth skin. Leaning forward, he pressed his face to the soft hair of Avon's abdomen. He kissed the navel, teasing with his tongue, filling it. The stroking hands moved into his hair, tangling in the thick curls. A light pressure encouraged him to move lower and he smiled. Avon's rosy cock beckoned insistently and he obliged, tracing lightly with his tongue, one hand at the base, the other caressing his balls. A soft moan was the only sound as he took the head into his mouth, sucking gently. The hands clenched slightly then loosened. He sucked harder, tongue rubbing at the underside. Avon groaned.

"Blake." He raised his head, releasing his lover's cock to his hand. There was no mistaking the look in Avon's eyes. The fingers tightened and Blake rose. Boots and trousers gone, Blake stood before his lover, waiting. Avon's hands touched him, cupping him, stroking. Blake's legs trembled. Avon pressed up against him and they stumbled, Blake's back banging into the wall. Hands round his chest turned him, urging him to bend forward, to brace his hands against the wall. He did so, shivering with anticipation as he felt his cheeks spread. Cool moisture brushed against hot skin and then pressure. One finger entered him slowly. Another and a third soon joined the others, bringing with it a hint of pain. He gasped and trembled and Avon sank his teeth into his shoulder. One of the hands banding his hips slid down, seizing him, grip sure, thumb circling the very tip of him.

"You want this, Blake," Avon whispered into his ear. Blake felt one of Avon's hands circle his neck, forcing his head back. "Want me to take you, own you."

"Yes," Blake hissed, back aching with the strain of his position, ass throbbing, Avon's fingers stretching him to his limits. They curved, pulling at him and he shifted awkwardly, trying to accommodate them.

Then they were gone. He gasped at the emptiness and craned his head. Was Avon ready to... Yes, the pressure was back, harder, rounder as what could only be Avon's cock rubbed up against him. It pressed lightly, teasing, and he moaned. Avon chuckled and pressed harder, one hand round the base of Blake's cock, holding him steady. A firmer probing, Blake could feel it begin to force its way past muscular resistance. He tried to relax and Avon slid in. Sweat dripped from his face. He could taste it on his lips. He groaned as Avon's grip tightened, as he took more of his lover inside him. Bright pain flared at the next thrust and Blake cried out, relieved at the press of wiry hair against his ass. He had all of him.

Avon began to thrust, hand stroking in time with his cock. Tormenting fingers squeezed and caressed the bulk of Blake's cock. Blake moaned and tried to thrust back, seeking the pleasure of Avon deep inside, the pleasure that was coloured by the aching width of him. He felt stretched to his limits, painful pleasure radiating from his ass, anguished pleasure spiraling from his cock throughout his body. It was too much. He groaned, Avon's name a whispered curse. Avon's hold on his cock tightened, his thrust changed angle, and a rush of sensation brought Blake to the brink. He gasped for breath, vision cloudy, hearing dulled. He whispered Avon's name, pleading, then screamed it as he came, the pounding in his ass matching the pulsing of his cock. Dimly, he was aware of Avon coming too, staccato thrusts, hot pulses inside him, then a heavier weight resting on his back.

Eventually, Avon pulled back, letting them both slump down to the floor.

"Bed," Blake whispered, staggering to his feet after a moment. Avon followed slowly and they both crawled under the cover. Defying their usual habit, Avon pulled Blake into his arms, guiding Blake's head onto his chest. Blake settled down, part of him thinking they should clean up first, the rest happy to be comfortable and warm. He ached but it was a good ache, satisfied.

"Blake, I think you need to give up your search for Star One for a while. Keep away from the Federation." Blake could feel the sudden tension in the body beneath him, knew his own was losing the relaxation he had felt seconds before.

"Was that what this was about?" Blake couldn't keep the anger out of his voice. "Feeling like a bit of mastery, Avon?" A pink flush stained Avon's pale cheeks.

"I am merely concerned. You would grant me the right, wouldn't you? You are too vulnerable to them."

"You mean you can't count on me," Blake snapped back.

"I mean I don't want you dead because you don't know what you're doing!" Snarling, Avon rolled them over until his weight was fully resting on Blake. "If they can control you, we have no defense against them. I don't like that situation."

"And you think I do?" Furious, Blake shoved Avon over, his greater weight pinning the smaller man securely. "I'm afraid of it, I hate it, but I won't let them win!"

"Don't you mean you're the only one who can beat them?" Avon hissed, his eyes never leaving Blake's face.

"I won't give up. The Federation must be destroyed."

"And it must be done by you?" There was a hint of despair in Avon's voice but Blake ignored it. There was still only anger in the dark eyes.

"No one else is volunteering. Ah, Avon, I don't want to fight with you." Blake settled on his side, dragging an unwilling Avon with him.

"I won't let you destroy me, Blake," Avon warned. Still, he pressed close, legs tangling with Blake's, one arm creeping across his chest.

"I wouldn't want you to. And I won't." Blake slipped one hand into Avon's hair, enjoying the soft silkiness, pressing a kiss to the corner of the sulky mouth.

"Yes, you probably will."

~ ~ ~

"Too much love can kill you

Just as soon as none at all

It'll drain the power that's in you

Make you plead and scream and crawl

And the pain will make you crazy

You're the victim of your crime

Too much love will kill you

Every time."

Leaning back in his chair, Blake stared out at the viewscreen. It was over a year since he had seen Avon. It seemed more like a lifetime. He wondered where Liberator and her crew were. Tales of their exploits and clashes with Servalan had filtered back to the rebellion but he was never quite sure how much was fact and how much fiction. They seemed reckless, not very much like the Avon he knew...had known.

He heard the soft tread of shoes on the deck.

"Blake." Deva, of course. Interesting, that he was so fond of him. Sometimes Blake wondered if his fondness for the man came from his affable personality or from his occupation. Maybe he was addicted to computer experts.

"Yes, Deva."

"There was a report that Liberator was destroyed." Any resemblance to Avon was lost when Deva spoke. His voice held a sympathy rarely found in his lover's. His lover's... Blake felt a hand grip on his shoulder and turned round. "I'm sorry if it's true. The report was not positive but I thought you should know."

"Thank you." Was that his voice, sounding so faint? He was vaguely aware of Deva slipping into the seat next to him. He would have known somehow, he was sure of it, if Avon had died.

"Servalan appears to be missing as well."

"Connected?" That was better, stronger.

"Possibly." Deva hesitated. "It could have been another sister ship." Blake thought briefly of their trip to The System.

"Perhaps." He didn't think so. But he didn't think Avon was dead either. Refused to believe it unless he had proof.

"Deva...I want to send a message. Coded so that only Orac will be able to decipher it. Even if Liberator was destroyed, Avon would take it with them if he could. He'd never leave it. Send instructions for the response to be relayed the usual way."

"What message?" Deva looked back as Blake hesitated, considering what he wanted, needed to say.

"I'm alive and I'm sorry. Sign it `a puppet on a string.''' Avon would know.

"I'll do that. Blake, how long until we reach Gauda Prime?"

"Two days." Blake smiled at the other man's distress. "You'll have lots to do then, Deva. Relax." Deva merely shook his head and went over to the communications relay. Blake smiled and sighed. Avon had to be alive, he had to.

~ ~ ~

"Avon, there is another message coming in for you." Alone with Orac on their base, Avon turned from the circuit board he was working on.

"Put it on the screen." His eyes darkened with pain as he read the words. It couldn't be Blake. After Terminal, he couldn't believe it was Blake. Servalan had said he'd died. A puppet to the end, maybe this was his last task.

Turning away from the screen, he was barely aware as his finger bent the probe he'd been using.

"Ignore it. And more like it that you pick up."

"May I point out..."

"Ignore it!" Avon shouted, yanking Orac's key and storming from the room. Blake was dead. He had to be, otherwise he would have returned.

~ ~ ~

"Too much love will kill you

Every time."

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