Hello GoodbyeBy Michelle Birkby
Page 2 of 2
Cally found Jenna alone on the flight deck, and decided to seize the moment and confront her. She was anxious. She had faced Federation troops, laser cannons, photon blasters and poison gas, yet she had never felt as apprehensive and awkward as now, preparing to face the cool, beautiful, strong woman in front of her. She sat down next to Jenna, who was studying some star charts. Jenna didn't look up.
Jenna looked up slowly. She didn't appreciate someone entering her mind. In fact, the whole idea scared her, although she wasn't going to admit that to herself, let alone Cally.
"Jenna, why do you not like me? Have I done something to offend you?"
Jenna was surprised. She hadn't expected the alien to so gutsy as to ask that. Her respect for Cally grew. She turned to face her and put down the flight charts.
"All right, an honest question deserves an honest answer. It isn't you personally I dislike, its all aliens. It was aliens that sold me out to the Federation, not once, but several times. I don't understand them, I don't trust them, and I don't like them. Does that answer your question?"
"Yes, and now I understand your hostility. Not all aliens are alike though, and it is unfair to condemn me because of the actions or people I do not even know. How would you like it all humanity was judged by Avon, for example?"
Jenna found herself speechless, and almost laughed. The girl was clever, no doubt about that, and Blake seemed to like her ... Jenna's face darkened again.
//I am not in love with Blake, you know, and he certainly isn't in love with me.//
Jenna stared at the alien in shock.
"What did you say?" she demanded. Cally almost blushed.
"I only meant that I am no threat to your relationship with Blake."
Jenna got up and strode to the pilot's position.
"My relationship with Blake is purely professional." Jenna stated curtly. "There's nothing more between us."
"I'm sorry. It's just, when I saw the two of you together...it doesn't matter. Jenna, I'm sorry you don't like me, but I'm not like those other aliens. I hope you can learn to trust, even like me, in time."
Jenna stared as her suspiciously, then nodded.
"I hope so too."
'I trusted her right from the beginning, even depended upon her. I think she was the only one who knew how I felt from the moment Avon introduced her, well, introduced her awake, anyway'. Cally had smiled as Avon had introduced her to Dayna, and held out her hand to her and Dayna had found she had someone to help her through the long dark nights when she had been so lonely. Cally had always been so strong, so sure. 'I was so in awe of her at first, but I never really knew her like Vila and Avon did, and now I never will. Now I have to be strong and independent and clever, like she was. We all leaned on her, all of us, and we didn't realise how much we depended on her until now.'
Dayna stood, gathered her strength and strode forward to the others, maturing with every step.
Jenna left the flight deck, saying she had to talk to Blake. Cally stood there for a moment, wondering if she had succeeded with Jenna.
The voice was smooth and cultured. Cally turned, looked into the deepest, darkest eyes she had ever seen, and smiled.
'Cally, just a word, just one word, I need you Cally, for God's sake...for my sake don't leave me now.'
He stepped forward, down into the flight deck, watching her all the way. She didn't take her eyes from his. She fascinated him, this strange alien with the sad smile and unreadable eyes. She was so different form the only ever woman who had intrigued him this way.. or was she? All people were the same, they made you trust them, like them, love them, then betrayed you and laughed.
'You were the only one, the only one I could trust, the only one who never betrayed me.'
He couldn't understand the expression in her eyes, he couldn't read her like he could the others. He could tell that there was so much hidden from everyone, from him, so much he couldn't understand about her. He decided there was only one way to deal with his curiosity, and that was to discover. He would know what went on behind those strange eyes, he would know what she thought. She wasn't going to hide from him.
'I never understood you - or maybe I did. Maybe I did know all you thought and felt and would never admit it to myself.'
"I hear you've been charming all the others," he said, his voice sardonic and dry as always.
"Yes. Going around, persuading all the others what a wonderful person you are."
"I've only been talking to them."
He smiled slowly.
She looked away.
"Lots of things."
He nodded, and stepped a little closer. He could just imagine what the others said, and he was rather annoyed that he hadn't got in first, told his side of things.
"What did they tell you?"
She looked up, now he was standing so close, looked directly into his eyes, and said,
"To stay away from you."
He had the grace to look surprised, although tit didn't quite ring true.
"What exact reason did they give?"
"They told me you were dangerous, not to be trusted, that you don't trust or like anyone, and if I had any sense I would stay as far away from you as possible."
"Now that's interesting. I wonder why they would say that?"
As if he didn't know.
"I think they want to protect me from you." She said, smiling a little in return, gazing into his eyes, unafraid, unflinching. Avon smiled too. He'd never met anyone less in need of protection, although there was something vulnerable about her.
"What do you think?" he asked.
She moved a little closer. She looked straight into his eyes, a piercing, penetrating gaze, and he almost looked away....but didn't.
"I think there's more to you than just the cold-hearted bastard everyone sees. I think they all think they know you, but they don't know anything. I don't think even you know yourself, but I think that one day, I'll know who really are."
Silence. He looked straight into her eyes, her unfathomable, unreadable eyes, and felt a sudden rush of feeling. He suddenly felt dizzy, and aware, as if he could see it all, like she could, see his future, but what he saw was beyond his gasp.
She looked away and the spell broke. She walked past him to the stairs. As she reached the top, she turned to face him, and said,
"Of course, I could be wrong."
He smiled, and then heard a faint echo in his head, one he knew he shouldn't have heard.
//But I don't think I am.//
'You always knew me better than the rest, right from the very beginning. You could always see right down into the very heart of me. I was so used to having you in my head. I needed you, but I never told you that, and you left me. Now I'm alone, like you were in the beginning, and I know how painful it is. Oh God, Cally, why did you leave me? I need you. But soon, I'll die, I'll die and join you, soon, Cally, soon, I promise you, my love.'
Avon smiled as she left the room, a rare genuine smile. He wondered if Cally ever would really know him, when he admitted even he did not know exactly what went on inside himself sometimes. She was interesting but 'she's just a girl. Nothing special. In a few months I'll be bored with her.'
So Blake wasn't dead. But he should have been and now he is. They're coming for me, and all I have to do is raise the gun and fire, and I'll be with you, Cally, my love.
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