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Vila Restals E-mails - Year 2

By Nicola Mody
Page 2 of 14



To:               Jandy Restal
From:           Vila Restal
Subject:       Space City

Dear Mum,

Well, if I had some credit for my work springing that lot from the Alta cells, I’ve lost it now.

We went to Space City, and Blake, Jenna, Avon and Gan went over, but Blake wouldn’t let me go too. He didn’t make me actually promise though, so I got Orac to teleport me after they left in exchange for hiding him. Yes, I should have asked why. Yes, I shouldn’t have done it. But I was hoping I could put some more money in my numbered account for the next time bounty hunters nab me. When I got there though, I began to feel nervous about taking on the Terra Nostra - I’ve always stayed clear of them, and I was also feeling a bit guilty about disobeying Blake. So I went into an inn called the White Hart and had a couple of real ales to bolster my courage, then a few more. They were a friendly lot in there with some very good stories. After I left I decided not to try picking any locks as my fingers felt a bit numb, so I thought I’d check out the Restaurant at the End of the Universe as it had an intriguing name. I ate some nibbles and tapas at the bar to counteract the ales, and had a few drinks from the top shelf, then decided to start on the cocktails. Something called a Sirian Panther Sweat just about blew my socks off, but I think it was the two Pan-Galactic Gargle-Blasters that really did me in. I can’t remember what happened after that but Blake and two shadow-addicts found me outside in the gutter and brought me back. The first I can remember, it was several hours later and I was in the medical unit feeling extremely unwell.

Running head injury total: 6 (chemical, self-induced, worse than the fracture).

So I was unconscious almost all the way to Zondar which was where the Terra Nostra make the shadow drug. They had double-crossed Blake, and he was going to take out their production. I couldn’t remember what I’d done with Orac (everyone was surprised I even remembered who I was, and Avon said I was unlucky to) but I don’t think it was completely my fault as Orac was possessed by a trans-dimensional alien who fancied taking over our space-time continuum, but I only found that out later. Cally found him somewhere, then went strange herself. Avon, Blake and Jenna went down and made me go on teleport duty, but my head hurt so much I put Orac in charge while I went looking for pills. When I got back he’d sent Cally down too and electrified his key so I couldn’t get it out, (I did try twice and got badly burnt), then tried to crash the ship. Hanna, one of the addicts, had a go too and got electrocuted. In the end Cally took the key out with telekinesis helped by moondisks, the telepathic things that live down there. She kept one as a pet. Avon said it was about as stimulating a companion as me.

It turns out the President is in cahoots with the Terra Nostra, so no use trying them again. It looks like we’re the only good guys in sight – great hope for the galaxy, eh?

I feel so bad about all the stuff I did wrong, I’m locking myself in my cabin for a while; no-one gets through a Restal Special lock.

Vila 



To:               Vila Restal
From:           Cally [cally@liberator.rebel.org]
Subject:       Teeth

Vila,

I know you are skulking in your cabin and feeling miserable and guilty, not to mention very sick, but if you think I am going to be sympathetic this time, you are wrong. You have behaved very badly. You were lucky I didn’t extract your teeth while you were unconscious and have them made into the necklace you drunkenly promised me.

Cally 



To:               Vila Restal
From:           Kerr Avon
Subject:       Your suicidal tendencies

Vila.

That was possibly the most monumentally stupid thing you have ever done. There’s a million credits on each of our heads, our faces are known all over the galaxy, and you decide to swan around the Terra Nostra’s own space station having sociable little drinks here and there. If you wish to commit suicide, Vila, I can suggest much more efficient ways to achieve your end. See me for a comprehensive list.

Avon 



To:               Vila Restal
From:           Supreme Commander Servalan
Subject:       RE: Hi

Why Vila, how sweet of you to write to me. I don’t think of any of you as my enemies, dear, but rather as future friends. I look forward to seeing you again soon. Preferably helpless and in handcuffs, Vila.

Servalan 



To:               Vila Restal
From:           Jandy Restal
Subject:       RE: Space City

Oh Vila. How many times have I told you – don’t mix your drinks, and all things in moderation. Take some vitamin C and lots of water.

Your mum 



To:               Vila Restal
From:           Olag Gan [gan@liberator.rebel.org]
Subject:       I’m hurt

That was a bit unfriendly, Vila, going off drinking without your best mate. You should have waited till I got back. It’s been a long time since I went on a decent pub-crawl.

Gan 



To:               Vila Restal
From:           Jenna Stannis [jenna@liberator.rebel.org]
Subject:       You were lucky

You can thank Blake you’re back on the ship, Vila. I was ready to leave without you.

Jenna 



To:               Vila Restal
From:           Roj Blake [blake@liberator.rebel.org]
Subject:       Punishment

Vila,

I expected a lot better of you, and I’m very disappointed. I have spent considerable time trying to think up a suitable punishment, but Cally tells me that you’ve punished yourself enough; she can feel your pain. So you can come out now, if you feel ready to face us. In any case, you’re on early watch tomorrow.

However, if you do anything like that again, Vila, I’ll give Cally permission to perform her dental surgery.

Blake 



To:               Liberator Crew [crew@liberator.rebel.org]
From:           Vila Restal
Subject:       Sorry

Everybody,

I’m really sorry. At least no-one has pointed out I should by rights have electrocuted myself making a third attempt on Orac’s key. Thanks for that at least. And I’m sorry I didn’t and Hanna died instead. And while I’m at it, sorry that Nova died on the London in that crawlspace when I should have. Avon’s almost right: I’m almost useless.

Cally, can I please have my burnt fingers seen to later? They’re the only useful part of me.

Vila 



To:               Vila Restal
From:           Kerr Avon
Subject:       RE: Sorry

Vila.

If anything you are more irritating being repentant and maudlin than you are in your usual obnoxious untrained-puppy mode. Snap out of it.

Avon 



To:               Vila Restal
From:           Olag Gan
Subject:       RE: Sorry

Don’t say such bad things about yourself, Vila. You’re still my best mate. I’m feeling peckish. Come and have some lunch with me. You’ll feel better.

Gan 



To:               Vila Restal
From:           Cally
Subject:       RE: Sorry

All right. I will look at your fingers.

Cally 



To:               Vila Restal
From:           Roj Blake
Subject:       RE: Sorry

Come on Vila, cheer up. You are far from useless. Your many skills are invaluable, and frankly I miss your friendly face out here. Everyone should be allowed a mistake or two. Just don’t make it a habit, Vila.

Blake 



To:               Vila Restal
From:           Jenna Stannis
Subject:       RE: Sorry

All right. Accepted.

Jenna 



To:               Liberator Crew
From:           Vila Restal
Subject:       RE: Sorry

Hey, thanks everyone! Anyone care for a game of Galactic Monopoly? And maybe a little hair of the dog that bit me? :-)

Cheers, Vila

 


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Nicola Mody

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