The Beginning of the EndBy Philippa Watts
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`Would you mind leaving now,' you said. I didn't really mind that. Coming from you, it's to be expected. And besides, I knew you'd tell us eventually, tell me eventually.
The others weren't impressed either. All I got from Vila was `I told you so', and something about `Avon's brainwaves not quite crashing on the shore today'. Which I suppose was confirmed when you showed up and said, actually, you had no idea where we were going. Where you were taking us.
Then you ordered Zen to fly through that red cloud. And I tried to stop you... well, someone had to try, didn't they? And for some stupid reason I thought you might just listen to me, even in the state you were in. Which is when you stuck the gun in my gut.
Funny thing is, even that wasn't the worst thing. It was when you looked me in the eye and said `Least of all, you.'
You could say it was all downhill from there. Nothing more we could do. I acted as if it meant nothing, was all cooperation and information as usual - sometimes it feels as though I'm the only one on the ship who's ever been anywhere. I remember Vila telling me about meeting you, on the London, you said something about `Wealth being the only reality.' Changed your tune there, haven't you? Oh you're still driven all right, only it's no longer money. It's him. It's him that caused you to take stupid risks, to stay awake for two days till you didn't know your own mind, take the Liberator through that cloud so we lost the best, the only fighting chance we'll ever have. What was it you said just before you left the ship for the last time? `Sentiment breeds weakness. Let it get hold of you and you're dead.' I'll never forget the look on your face as you said it. I could almost believe you were saying it as a warning to us... to me?
I had to follow you though, didn't I? You knew I would. Oh, you made your threats and your promises, but you knew that wouldn't stop me. That's why you didn't look surprised when they dragged us in to where Servalan had you. And she knew that, too, didn't she? Or else why would she use us as a bargaining tool? That `Tarrant, no!' you shouted when I gave the order to Dayna to join us was exquisite. And then when she told you Blake is dead, your reaction said it all, didn't it?
So here we are, captives on someone else's base, on someone else's world. Dorian may have saved our lives for now, but he doesn't strike me as the sort of man who's given to random acts of altruism. So what now? What have you brought us to?
Tarrant sighed, and stared into the darkness of the empty crewroom.
`I forgive you Avon,' he whispered.
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