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Vila Restals E-mails - Year 2

By Nicola Mody
Page 3 of 14



To:               Jandy Restal
From:           Vila Restal
Subject:       IMIPAK

Dear Mum,

Me again. We were going to break into the Fed Weapons Development Base to get some state-of-the-art stuff to attack Central Control on Earth, and I wasn’t looking forward to it. It’s a triple-A security installation, and though I’ve broken into those before, I wasn’t keen on being up the sharp end with all kinds of inventive and unimaginably horrible death pointed at me. However the whole base was on full alert because a Beta-grade tech escaped with a new weapon called IMIPAK, and Blake thought it might be worth having. I wouldn’t have felt happy with it around though. It turned out to be a very nasty little device – you can mark someone with it and it makes their molecules unstable or something, then later you can kill them at long range with the key.

So we tracked the guy down, and Blake, Avon and Gan went down to get it, and so did Servalan and Travis. Servalan marked them and told them she was sporting; they could make a run for it, so when I’d teleported them up, we broke orbit ASAP, expecting all the time they’d spent their last credit. But here’s an odd thing. A guy who sounded exactly like Blake contacted us and said we were safe because Travis and Servalan were marked too.

I’m glad we didn’t get that thing. I can just see it – they’d mark me and then tell me they’ll use the key as soon as I step out of line.

Love, Vila 



To:               Supreme Commander Servalan
From:           Vila Restal
Subject:       Blaky bloke

Hello Servalan,

I’m not very sorry I didn’t get to see you this time as your last e-mail was a little unfriendly. But I have a question for you. Please tell me, who was that guy who sounded just like Blake, who called us up after we left?

Vila 



To:               Space Commander Travis
From:           Vila Restal
Subject:       Marked

So you’re a marked man now, Travis! And do call me Vila, everyone else does.

Vila 



To:               Vila Restal
From:           Jandy Restal
Subject:       RE: IMIPAK

Dear Vila,

I hope you’re joking that your pals would use such a thing on you. Either they’re not real friends or you must have annoyed them. I hope you haven’t been robbing them blind, or telling those terrible jokes and puns that so annoyed that nice safe-cracker girl who used to come round.

Love, Mum 



To:               Vila Restal
From:           Space Commander Travis
Subject:       RE: Marked

You’re beginning to annoy me, Restal. You’re now in my kill file. Both of them.

Travis 



To:               Jandy Restal
From:           Vila Restal
Subject:       RE: IMIPAK

Dear Mum,

Aw, come on, Mum. It wouldn’t have worked out anyway. She had no sense of humour or finesse – she used explosives to blow her safes for a start - she was bigger and stronger than me, and her nostrils were unnerving large. When she kissed me, it was like approaching a two-shuttle hangar. When she went off with that fence, I was a bit relieved really. I used to like the late-night meals we had after a job though. Oh, what I wouldn’t give for a nice curry…

The Feds must be right hacked off about that IMIPAK thing, and Servalan must have blamed it all on us ‘cos they’ve been chasing us without letup ever since. Blake’s decided to make a run for the galactic rim. Join the rebellion and see the universe…

Love, Vila 



To:               Vila Restal
From:           Supreme Commander Servalan
Subject:       RE: Blaky bloke

How nice to hear from you again so soon, Vila. It was a Blake clone, dear.

I do like your wanted poster. You are really quite appealing with your big brown eyes and soft silky hair. I really would rather like to get my hands on you, Vila. You have a touching innocence I should very much enjoy subverting. Perhaps I’ll clone you.

No. I think I’ll wait for the original. :-)

Servalan 



To:               Cally
From:           Vila Restal
Subject:       Stomach cramps

Cally, do you have anything for bad stomach cramps? And before you ask, I haven’t been drinking home-made booze or eating anything you guys haven’t. I can’t even stand upright and Avon’s says I’m devolving and my knuckles will be scraping the floor soon, and I feel too ill to say anything back. Please? I’m in my cabin all curled up in the faecal position.

And I can’t sleep very well either ‘cos I’ve been having nightmares about Servalan.

Vila 



To:               Vila Restal
From:           Cally
Subject:       RE: Stomach cramps

You mean the foetal position, Vila. :-)  I will come round now to give you something for the pain. And don’t worry; we are all suffering from over-stress which is showing in different ways – Blake has headaches, Avon has back pains, Jenna has a sore throat and Gan is nauseous.

Cally 



To:               Cally
From:           Vila Restal
Subject:       Stress

Thanks for that, Cally. I feel much better now. Hey, what was that stuff?

So Avon has a sore back eh? I’ll get him back now for laughing at my cramps. Forgot to ask when you were here. What have you got?

Vila 



To:               Vila Restal
From:           Cally
Subject:       RE: Stress

I do not react to stress like you humans, Vila. BTW do you know if there are any more fairy cakes or leamingtons in the food store?

Cally 



To:               Kerr Avon
From:           Vila Restal
Subject:       Sore back

Got a sore back then, Avon? Must be from lugging that huge ego around. Or because you can’t unbend? Or is the weight of guilt for your unfair treatment of an innocent and harmless thief pressing down on your shoulders? Take your pick, but be careful you bend at the knees when you lift it!

Vila 



To:               Vila Restal
From:           Kerr Avon
Subject:       RE: Sore back

Such wit. I am stunned. As you will be if you carry on like that. Give it and us a rest.

Avon 



To:               Cally
From:           Vila Restal
Subject:       RE: Stress

I know where some chocolate cake is, Cally. I’ll have some more of that lovely relaxing drink in exchange. Meet me in the food store.

Vila

 


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