Head Ache

When Muller sat up and continued merrily on his way, it was instantly apparent to Tarrant that something was wrong. The fact that Muller's head was missing might have given him that vital clue... Swiftly, Tarrant and Dayna ran to the base's medical section to explain all.

"How come the android was wearing Muller's head?" Avon glared accusingly at Tarrant. "You went down for Muller did you neglect to mention anything to me?"

Tarrant pondered the question. "Well, there was a corpse rather cunningly concealed underneath the table..." He trailed off, refusing to meet Avon's eyes.

"And this didn't seem worth mentioning?"

"Was it headless?" Vila piped up.

"Like you?" Dayna smiled sweetly. "Oh, sorry, I meant clueless."

"Or brainless," Tarrant offered.

"No, that should be legless," Soolin added.

Vila glared at the three of them in turn, before prompting, "Well, was he?"

"I'm not sure," Tarrant replied lamely.

"Any blood?" Avon asked, a manic gleam in his eyes.

"Not that I noticed, no."

"You should have joined the Federation Law Enforcement Agency (FLEA) instead of the FSA." Vila grinned. "Then we'd never have been caught," he explained to Avon.

"Caught what?" asked Avon, scratching absent-mindedly.

"You're just failed criminals..." Tarrant grumbled.

"I've still got top-billing!" Avon growled in a low, dangerous tone.

"It's Blake's name in the title!" Tarrant shot back. "Nice looking chap from his pictures," he added, casually stroking his curls.

"I'll get the last laugh, just you see!" Avon said petulantly. Even Orac was turning against him now, asking Soolin to hide him. Always wanting her to carry him, he'd noticed. Snuggled-up to her bosoms with his lights flashing like a demented slot machine...

The subject of his thoughts broke the silence. "If it was Muller's head," Soolin asked, "how could it just fit on the android? Wouldn't it just.... fall off?"

"Silly girl." Vila shook his head sadly. "No one's told her not to question the plots yet."

Avon turned and fixed them with his best 'all-knowing' look. "The android did it the same way Tarrant and Dayna changed costumes so often in 'Traitor' BBC continuity and meticulous planning. Or lack of it," he muttered, still annoyed at Tarrant 'borrowing' his third-best, black, leather-studded outfit not that it had suited him...

"Besides," Vila smiled, "the public never notice these things anyway."

Slow footsteps echoed in the corridor outside.

"Orac!" the headless body moaned theatrically. "Orac!"

"How is it speaking?" Vila asked.

"It's an android, idiot!" Dayna shushed him.

"If he didn't need a mouth, why steal a head?"

"Same reason you steal everything you touch." Soolin glared.

Vila looked suitably chastened.

"Don't you think it would have given the game away meeting Tarrant headless?" Dayna asked, trying to change the subject.

"Doubt he'd have noticed." Avon sniffed.

"Would someone care to notice me," the android demanded. "It's hot in this costume you could at least make a pretence of being interested."

"Sorry," Tarrant said. "What do you want?"

"I want Orac. Together we will rule everything!" it finished dramatically, waving its arms around.

"If that thing and Orac are planning on taking over the Universe, they're either going to have to do it at a slow pace, or else get wheels," Vila offered helpfully.

"Stop giving it suggestions, Vila," Dayna snapped, smacking him crossly.

"Let's make a cunning escape," Tarrant said, "then construct a brilliant plan!"

"Good idea," said Dayna. "Can I blow things up in your plan, Tarrant?"

"Of course," Tarrant promised, with a blinding flash of teeth.


Continued in Star Three


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