Friday morning I left the B+B and headed to REDEMPTION. (This was to be the only morning I would not have a hangover). Got to the hotel and looked around. Not many people about and I couldn't see anyone I knew. So I dumped my costumes in the lock-up and went to find out what time the bar opened. I asked a porter and he said 11:00. OH NO!!! that was like 2 hours away. Anyway I passed the time by putting up notices about our TRIBBLE HUNT and THE PURPLE GNOME HUNT.
11:00 and I'm stood outside the bar looking at my watch, then the bar opens ...HOORAY... straight in for a bottle a Bud. I could now relax and wait for my friends to turn up. First in was Matthew, a fellow Welshman dressed as an original Klingon. Now it was time to put on my costume. Goodbye Richard. Hello Lt. Commander Krell. Got back to the bar and made Matt get the drinks in. Mike, Liz, Dave, and Trevor arrived. Mike got changed. Hooray. another Klingon. The Empire was growing and so was the number of empty bottles. A few more drinks and then we headed for the convention bar ...... a quick trip to Sainsbury's dressed as Klingons and then back to the bar to wait for the disco.
Friday night I decided to have a bit of fun so I went and put on my SCREAM costume. First stop was the bar. Where I found Matthew in a drunken stupor showing people the gold stitching on his trousers and explaining how he had hand stitched them. Anyone of you hear the story of Matt's trousers..? After running around the hotel I was arrested by two FBI agents and hand-cuffed to a chair in the lobby. Soon after being released I headed to the disco where I got on stage and danced to YMCA. (apparently it turned out I was doing the moves all wrong). After the disco I went to sleep under a table.
Saturday morning I woke up with a hang-over. I was in someones room?? Last night I went to sleep under a table and this morning I woke up in someone's room. Can anyone explain this strange transporter accident.....?
A quick wash and back into the Klingon outfit. I walked into the bar and was immediatley held at gunpoint by a Federation Trooper. After a few photos I got me a Bud and sat down. A girl walked past in a B5 uniform and she had a teddy with a little B5 uniform on. I got hold of the teddy and gave it a wedgy. A repoter for the Kent newspaper asked me and Matt to go outside for some photos. Then back to bar cos it was Matt's round.
A few more drinks a few more Klingons and then it was time to hide the Tribbles.
The tribble hunt was successful. All tribbles were brought back to meet their fate. The bomb tribble was also successfully de-fused (We stamped on it and it flattened with a satisfying crunch).
Now the fun was about to begin.We had to go to Sainsbury's to buy stuff for our Klingon Party later that night. There were about 8 of us dressed as klingons at this point. So we all marched over Sainsbury's, got two trolleys, filled one up with booze and the other with nibbles and a packet of Chickpea soup Ha Ha Ha.
We all got some strange looks and kids fled off crying. Outside I decided to have a go on the Thomas the Tank Engine ride. We got back to the hotel and asked the porter could we have 2 big pots, a ladle, and a jug. These were delivered to the room that was to hold the party. Excellent 2 big pots 1 full of Blood Wine and 1 full of blue stuff. Also our 200 year Klingon ale for all those who sampled it here's the recipe... A carton of chickpea soup and 5 cans of Fosters. A quick stir and voila.
The guy who had tribble pelts on his sword loved the stuff. The party was now getting good. Someone had brought a ghetto blaster. A food fight ensued, mixed in with an arm wrestling match and a game of tribble football (no tribbles survived).
The room was getting pretty messy, bits of tribble, upturned furniture, upturned Klingons, A traffic cone??? ( hey it's not a good night if you don't get a traffic cone). Time to get changed for the fancy dress but as I left I was given a severe wedgy by Captain KoR'DaH. After I had successfully pulled the wedy out I got changed into Jason Voorhees and headed toward the bar. A few people jumped as I walked in and ordered a Bud and a straw. Then it was time to go to the fancy dress. As I walked past the Klingon party I looked in, had some blood wine, and sampled some drink from B5. Yuck!!! what the hell was that stuff.
Fancy dress time. I took my turn. Then back to the bar for a quick pint and back to the main hall for the judging.
Disco time! What a great night. However I did fall off the stage and hurt my shoulder. Me and stages do not get on.
Sunday morning I woke up the lobby still in Jason costume. A very kind Londo gave me a warm cup of blue stuff. "Is it alcoholic?" I asked. "Yes" she said.
Excellent!!! It was actually quite nice. Then Dave Walsh walked past, asked me was I OK, and then went and got me some headache tablets. I just led there until Mike aka Catain KoR'DaH got me a cup of coffee. Anyway by the time the bar opened I was fully recovered and ready to have a nice cold bottle of Bud.
Now it was time for the Klingon Challenge. Five bowls of Klingon food and all the audience had to do was come and sample it to earn points for their team. Some people actually enjoyed it and ate the whole bowl. Then someone suggested the Klingons taste it. Oh My God No!!! we made the stuff. We knew what was in it.
Too late I was down on my knees being fed. First up green slimy targ balls... then Gagh.... then tribble entrails. My stomach was still tender from Saturday night but somehow I managed to keep it down. As I stood up I fell down behind the stage and got stuck. Thankfully the other 2 Klingons helped me. That was after they had finished laughing.
Back to the bar for a few beers before the purple gnome hunt. Louise was in the bar. For the past 2 days we had tried to get this girl into a Klingon costume with no avail. Maybe today?
Hunt the Purple Gnome time. The gnome had run off. So me and this other guy headed off to find him....... strange the way people look at you when you ask them "Have you seen a purple gnome around this hotel?"
The gnome was later found and took back to the bar where we bought it a pint for finding such a good hiding place. What a pleasant fellow that little gnome is. Now came the moment we all hate. The closing ceremony.
After this it was back to the bar to say goodbye to friends and hello to Budweiser. Then came a cunning plan.............. as the bar was shutting early for Sunday and our funds were severely depleted we decided to have a whip round our gang that was left and go and find an off licence. Mission successful we now had a taxi boot full of beer which had to be smuggled in.
I don't remember much after that. I do know I had a nose bleed from where I walked into a pillar. And I have read the other reports which all say I was poured into a taxi by Londo and Steve. Thanks for helping me that night guys I was in a right old pickle.
Monday morning. I got a taxi to the hotel to say goodbye to those left. I still had a holdall full of cans from the night before.
I saw Leslie and Pete in the lobby in fact they were among the last to leave. So I said my goodbyes which wasn't so bad this time cos I knew they were both going to BATTLEFIELD 2 in six weeks time. At about 4:00pm I left the hotel for the last time and headed toward the train station for my long journey back to Wales. With my holdall full of beer...........
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